Not long ago a close friend told me: “you have an interesting taste in men”. This is something I already knew, of course! But I was amused by the fact that someone pointed it out for me.
I do, in fact, have an interesting taste in men, to say the least! And I am proud of it. I feel like the uniqueness of my taste, represents the uniqueness of my soul. I am a strange person... we all know that!
I was in a relationship, for a long time, a very long time, and the things I remember the most about it, is the things that were missing, the things I hoped for, and the things I wished for, the things I never got. One stands out above all: I always wished that he would call me back...
Let me elaborate:
Relationships are not easy, we are all aware of that, and we can’t avoid the misunderstandings and the arguments and the fights. It’s all a part of it, and no matter how compatible we are, or how much we love each other, or how much we try, relationships will always have the rough patches. During those rough patches, in the fury of an argument, in the heat of a fight, hurtful things are said, things that we usually don’t mean.
This happens a lot! But I remember that after hanging up the phone with an unfinished fight lingering in our heads, I hoped for him to call me back and make things right, or at least, better. I always wanted for him to turn back his car and put the pride and the anger down. I often did it for him, but I never got my wish, he never did.
For the longest time I resented him for this, I often reproached him why was he able to go to bed and rest, or have a productive day, while knowing that things were so bad between each other? I never got an answer that was satisfactory, and I was often told that I was too emotional, and that it was best not to talk during those times.
I grew to believe him, that it was me... exhausting, emotional me, that needed to change that part about myself, the part that wished for him to call be back.
But you know what? I was wrong! He was wrong! The fact is, I was simply with the wrong guy.
I know this because someone does call me back, and tells me that he can’t go to bed fighting with me, that tells me that he doesn’t want to keep fighting, someone that goes back online and talks to me, someone that puts his pride down now and then and tells me that he’s sorry. Someone like I always wished for, someone that turns around, someone that looks back.
I am thankful that he showed me that I can have what I want, and that my wishes can come true, and the amazing part is, that he did it all, without him ever knowing that he was what I wanted. I don’t care what will happen; the least I can do is let him know how much he taught me, and how much he opened my eyes.
So now I wonder... what else did I changed about myself? What else I corrected? What else did I give in? The hard part is that I can’t remember, at least not all. Perhaps the person I was can never be found again; perhaps I changed because I had to. I’ll never know!
But now, I will always remember that the right person doesn’t ask me to change... he comes back!!
